Happy Moms- Do They Exist?

Are happy moms the unicorn of parents?

Have you ever seen a happy mom?

Are you a happy mom?

There’s the tired mom, the nagging mom, the mom bun, the Pinterest mom, the crunchy mom, the standard mom outfit of yoga pants and the side part, but is there a happy mom?

I really started thinking about this after a particular interaction within my family. My husband was making his case to our kids about how he was the “funniest” person in our family. He made a comment about “funny dads” and have the kids ever really seen a “funny mom?”

It got me thinking.

Moms don’t have time to be funny.

They run the households, they know the schedules, they get their kids to all the places they need to go, on time and with all the required necessities. They do the meal planning, the grocery shopping, and the cooking. They wash the clothes, fold, and put away the laundry. They know when their kids are outgrowing their clothes and shoes and get more. They schedule and attend doctor appointments. They make sure their kids have their schoolwork in their backpacks (after they made sure their kids completed their work in the first place). They do the research on that next developmental stage so they know how to respond to it. They schedule and attend the playdates. They know their baby’s sleep schedule and how and when to put them down for naps or bed. They know their kid’s likes and dislikes, they know that look on their face and what it means. They know when their kid needs a hug and when they need that encouraging push forward. They know where that item is that is needed right now. They are the keeper and know of all things for their children and family.*

Where is there time to be funny? Much less happy.

*note: I understand some families may look different than this. There are dads that are doing more for their children and household and some may be doing the majority of it. With that said, in the majority of heterosexual families, women still do far more household chores, child caretaking, and carry the mental load than their male partners, regardless of work status.

Happiness is a Skill

We are going to experience a wide range of emotions. It’s not realistic to think that we will always feel happy. Life happens and that means there will be times of struggle, sadness, stress, etc. With that said, we do have a sort of baseline feeling of how we experience life.

It’s possible to elevate that baseline to one of more contentment and happiness. This is a skill we can learn and practice.

Think of it like a level of fitness. If you’re a runner, you have to keep training to keep at or increase that level of fitness. It’s the same thing for our overall wellbeing, our “mental fitness.” You have to continue to engage in practices that promote feeling good.

Change Happens in Small Steps Over Time

I’m sure you’ve been there before. You decide to make some big changes. You feel excited and motivated. It feels good and you’re sure that “this time it will stick.”

Then, inevitably, you find yourself back to how things were. Life happens, something throws you for a loop. Maybe you tell yourself, “I’ll do it later” or “I’ll get back on track tomorrow.” But you don’t.

Then the negative self-talk creeps in.

“I’m so lazy, why can’t I stay motivated?”

“Why can’t I just get it together, everyone else seems to have figured it out.”

“I suck at this.”

The thing is change is really hard. Our brains are wired to resist change and our environments are set up for failure.

For real, sustainable change, it needs to happen in small steps over time.

Engaging in consistent, easy strategies for your well-being every day, will over time, change your outlook, your experience, and your life.

You can live a more happy life!

Every time mom wants to take a picture :)

Take a Step Today Towards More Happiness

If you have gotten stuck by negative self-talk before and/or struggle with making and maintaining changes, Therapy can be a great help for you.

In Happy Moms Therapy we identify areas that you want to focus on and improve and we develop a plan with easy, actionable steps. Then with ongoing sessions, we’ll address any obstacles that come up and keep you on track.

Have a question about coaching or interested in signing up? Reach out today!

Disclaimer: This is not a replacement for a therapeutic relationship or mental health services. This is for educational purposes only and should be in used only in conjunction in working with a licensed mental health professional. If you are in California and looking for a professional therapist feel free to use the contact me to request an appointment or search Psychology Today for local therapists in your area.