All About Meditation | How to Meditate
Oftentimes when I talk about meditation with clients I hear the following:
“It doesn’t work for me, I have too many thoughts.”
“It’s too hard to turn off my thoughts.”
“I get too distracted.”
“I tried it once and it just didn’t work.”
There is the idea tied to meditation that one needs to get into this place of “zen” where we have no thoughts are in complete bliss.
This is false.
Meditation is about training our awareness. Becoming aware of the present moment and observing our thoughts, feelings, and sensations without judgment.
This in itself is hard and the benefit comes not from are certain achievements but from the practice of this.
In meditation, it's all about the journey, not the destination.
What is Meditation?
Meditation is a practice in training your attention and focus in order to create a more “calm” and stable state. Basically, it’s about practicing and learning how to “quiet” down the chatter in your brain.
There are many different ways to meditate, including guided practices, using chants, complete silence, breathing exercises, etc. There is no “right” or “best” way to meditate, as it’s about what works for you.
What isn’t Meditation?
Meditation is not about having zero thoughts or getting to a place of “Zen.” Your brain is basically this amazing machine that is constantly on. You’re going to have thoughts. Meditation is about learning how to focus your attention.
When you meditate, you will find your mind drifting off. That is okay. Once you realize you are thinking about something else, just gently bring your attention back to whatever it is you are focusing on (such as your breath, a chant, a sensation, etc.). Sometimes you will have to do this over and over again in the same meditation and other times it may be less. This doesn’t mean that you did “better” in one meditation than the other. It’s just how it goes sometimes.
It’s the Journey
The benefits of meditation come in the process or the journey of the practice. When we meditate, we are training our brains to become more aware of our current state of being, including our sensations, current thoughts, and feelings. Becoming more self-aware can help us better cope and address anxiety and past traumas.
Meditation also helps us better regulate our emotions and how we respond in our relationships. Often times when we are triggered and get upset by something, we have an instant reaction. Much of this is automatic and comes from long-conditioned ways of being. When we practice meditation, we are learning the skill of being aware of our thoughts and shifting our thoughts onto what we want to focus on. This skill will translate within our relationships by helping us “slow down” our inner thought process and be more conscious in how we want to respond in our relationships.
When we meditate, we also engage our “calm-down” system, the parasympathetic nervous system. This system is important in our stress regulation and helping us feel relaxed. Meditation can be a great way to cope with and manage our stress.
It’s not about getting to some outcome or achievement (like that state of “Zen”). The benefits come within the practice of it.
How to Meditate?
So, how do we meditate? As mentioned earlier, there are many different ways and many different apps that teach meditation. I recommend checking them out. Basically, the goal for your mediation is about paying attention to the present moment, to your sensations, thoughts and feelings and withholding any judgment. Again, this is always easier said than done and it’s about the practice of it (it’s not about achieving perfection in this).
A basic way to get started is as follows:
-Find a quiet and comfortable place to sit down. This can be on the floor, a chair, outside, etc.
-Close your eyes (if you’re comfortable with that) and take a moment to adjust your body to a comfortable position. You can have your hands in your lap, on your legs palms up, or by your side. Again, whichever feels most comfortable for yourself.
-Start to focus on your breath. Do not do anything different right now, just pay attention to your breathing. Take a few moments and feel your sensations in your body as you breathe.
-On your next in-breath, say to yourself “I’m breathing in.”
-Then on your next out-breath, say to yourself, “I’m breathing out.”
-Repeat these sayings as you breathe in and out. If your mind drifts, just gently come back to your breath and these sayings.
-Do this as little or as long as you’d like.
-When you finish, just gently open your eyes and take a moment to check in with yourself. How was that?
Creating a Meditation Practice
Now that you’ve tried out your first mediation, you may be interested in creating a meditation practice.
The most important aspect of creating a meditation practice is about making it a priority. This means to intentionally create a time to do it. It’s very easy to put something off for later that day or the next day, the problem that comes up is that we continue to put it off. There will always some thing else to do.
Making meditation a priority and scheduling it in your day is important.
Here are some tips to create a meditation practice.
Have you tried meditation? If so, has it been helpful to you? If not, what holds you back from trying it? Comment below.
Disclaimer: This is not a replacement for a therapeutic relationship or mental health services. This is for educational purposes only and should be in used only in conjunction in working with a licensed mental health professional. If you are in California and looking for a professional therapist feel free to use the contact me to request an appointment or search Psychology Today for local therapists in your area.
