EMDR Therapy: A Path to Healing Trauma for Moms
Being a mom is one of life’s most fulfilling roles, but it can also be one of the most challenging. Many moms face immense pressure to balance caregiving, work, relationships, and personal well-being. For some, these challenges are compounded by unresolved trauma, anxiety, depression, or feelings of burnout. If you’re struggling, know that you’re not alone, and there are tools that can help. One powerful tool is EMDR therapy. In this post, we’ll explore what EMDR therapy is, how it helps treat trauma, and why it can be particularly beneficial for moms.
What is EMDR Therapy?
EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. It is a form of psychotherapy designed to help people process and heal from traumatic experiences. Unlike traditional talk therapy, EMDR uses bilateral stimulation—often through guided eye movements, taps, or tones—to help the brain reprocess distressing memories and reduce their emotional intensity.
EMDR is an evidence-based therapy, meaning it has been rigorously studied and shown to be effective. Originally developed to treat post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), it has since been used successfully for a wide range of issues, including anxiety, depression, phobias, and grief. By addressing unresolved trauma, EMDR helps people feel lighter, more present, and better equipped to handle life’s challenges.
How Does EMDR Therapy Help Treat Trauma?
Trauma can leave a lasting imprint on the brain, causing distressing memories to feel just as painful as when they first happened. This is because traumatic experiences often get "stuck" in the brain, unable to fully process or resolve. Technically this is for our “benefit” as our brain wants to remember these past traumatic, painful, threatening experiences as a way to “warn” us in the future. However, this can certainly impact our day to day wellbeing in a negative way, as it’s hard for our brain to fully “move on” from negative experiences. EMDR works by helping the brain reprocess these memories in a way that reduces their emotional charge.
EMDR therapy typically follows an eight-phase protocol:
History-taking: The therapist gathers information about your history and identifies target memories for processing.
Preparation: You learn coping strategies and grounding techniques to ensure emotional safety during the process.
Assessment: The therapist identifies specific aspects of the memory, such as vivid images, beliefs, and physical sensations.
Desensitization: Using bilateral stimulation, you focus on the traumatic memory while allowing your brain to reprocess it.
Installation: Positive beliefs (e.g., “I am safe”) are strengthened to replace negative ones.
Body scan: You assess whether the trauma’s emotional charge has been fully resolved.
Closure: Each session ends with grounding techniques to ensure you leave feeling stable.
Reevaluation: The therapist checks progress in subsequent sessions and addresses any remaining distress.
Through this process, EMDR helps "unstick" the trauma, allowing you to move forward with greater emotional freedom.
Why Moms Can Benefit from EMDR Therapy
Motherhood comes with unique challenges and pressures, and many moms experience trauma in ways they may not immediately recognize. Here are a few examples:
Birth Trauma: Difficult or traumatic childbirth experiences can leave lasting emotional scars.
Postpartum Depression and Anxiety: Hormonal changes and overwhelming responsibilities can trigger intense emotional struggles.
Parenting Stress: Raising children, especially in the face of financial or relational difficulties, can exacerbate feelings of burnout and inadequacy.
Past Trauma Resurfacing: Becoming a parent can sometimes bring unresolved childhood trauma to the surface.
EMDR therapy provides moms with a safe space to process these experiences and release the emotional burdens that might be holding them back. By addressing trauma at its root, EMDR helps moms show up for themselves and their families in a more grounded and present way. Imagine being able to approach parenting with greater patience, confidence, and resilience—that’s the power of EMDR.
Annie’s Story: Using EMDR to Heal Past Trauma and Help Her Feel Better as a Mom
Annie* came to me when she was 6 months pregnant with her first child. Annie was experiencing depression and anxiety, which has has felt off and on throughout her life, but it had started to heighten during her pregnancy. Annie expressed that she had hoped being pregnant would have helped alleviate her depression, as she has always wanted to be a mom and had hoped to feel happy and excited for her baby, but instead she was constantly worried about baby’s health and overall felt down and sad.
During our initial therapy sessions, Annie shared about multiple instances of childhood trauma that she experienced, some of which were at the hands of her parents. Annie acknowledged being terrified of being a “bad mom” since she didn’t receive any good modeling as a child. Annie was also afraid of these past traumas interfering with her ability to be a good mom to her baby.
Early therapy sessions were focused on teaching Annie about trauma, how our brain and body reacts to it, and understanding more of her trauma triggers and symptoms. We also spent time on developing “resourcing skills” which helped Annie regulate her body when she was feeling stressed, overwhelmed, and/or getting triggered by past trauma.
Annie and I then identified “target memories” to use with EMDR, these were past instances of her childhood trauma that client had heightened emotionality around. Due to Annie being pregnant, Annie spoke with her OBGYN about doing EMDR while pregnant (since the nature of processing past trauma can be stressful and out of an abundance of caution, we want to make sure her pregnancy is stable) and got her OBGYN’s clearance to proceed.
We then engaged in EMDR sessions, alternating with two sessions of EMDR with one talk therapy session. During the EMDR sessions, we were able to resolve 4 different “target memories.” Annie reported that these memories became less emotionally charged for her, that while she has memory of them, they feel more “matter-of-fact” and just something that happened. Annie started to experience a lessening of many of her depression and anxiety symptoms. This helped Annie feel better about the upcoming birth of her baby.
Annie took a brief break from therapy when her son was born and then returned to sessions. Sessions continued to focus on processing Annie’s past trauma, as well as addressing common postpartum pain points including sleep deprivation, feeding, and managing the mental load with her partner.
When we completed therapy, Annie expressed feeling good about herself as a mom and felt very optimistic about her future. Annie expressed feeling more “grounded” in herself and that she had finally been able to release a lot of the past painful memories of her childhood.
*name and identifying characteristic’s have been changed for privacy reasons
Key Takeaways
EMDR therapy is a proven, evidence-based method for processing and healing trauma.
It uses bilateral stimulation to help the brain "unstick" distressing memories and reduce their emotional charge.
EMDR therapy follows an eight-phase protocol, ensuring a safe and structured healing process.
Moms face unique challenges like birth trauma, postpartum struggles, and parenting stress, making EMDR an especially valuable tool for their healing journey.
By resolving trauma, moms can become more present, patient, and resilient in their roles.
Conclusion
As a mom, your well-being matters just as much as your family’s. If you’ve been carrying the weight of trauma, anxiety, or burnout, EMDR therapy could be the key to finding relief and healing. With its unique approach to processing trauma, EMDR has helped countless individuals, including moms, reclaim their sense of peace and purpose.
If you’re curious about how EMDR therapy can support you, I’m here to help. As a certified EMDR therapist, I specialize in working with moms to navigate the challenges of motherhood and heal from trauma. Reach out to learn more or schedule a consultation.
You don’t have to carry this alone—healing is possible, and you deserve it.
Disclaimer: This is not a replacement for a therapeutic relationship or mental health services. This is for educational purposes only and should be in used only in conjunction in working with a licensed mental health professional. If you are in California and looking for a professional therapist feel free to use the contact me to request an appointment or search Psychology Today for local therapists in your area.
