Your First Therapy Session: A Guide for New Moms

You are Here, Mama.

You did it—you scheduled your first therapy session. Whether you’re navigating postpartum, wrestling with anxiety, or feeling overwhelmed by motherhood, just showing up is brave. It’s natural to feel nervous or unsure. Knowing what to expect can ease those worries so you feel more prepared (and less alone) logging in to your first session.

Summary: What You’ll Learn

In this guide, you’ll learn what happens during your first therapy session as a mom in the thick of early motherhood or postpartum. We’ll cover paperwork, what to expect emotionally, how to navigate the “vulnerability hangover,” and why therapy is a powerful investment in yourself—especially right now.

Informed Consent, Confidentiality, and the Therapy Process

Expect to review important guidelines and forms that protect your rights as a client. Many therapists now email these forms before your first session, making it easier to complete them during nap time or whenever you can carve out a quiet moment (we see you, multitasking mama).

While it might feel tedious— especially with a baby in your arms— this paperwork helps you understand confidentiality, limits around safety, and how your therapist operates. If you’re unclear about anything, ask. Your voice matters here.

Be prepared to talk… a lot (and It’s Okay if You Cry)

Your therapist’s job is to get to know you—not just “the mom version” of you. Expect questions about your family, your childhood, your relationship, how motherhood is impacting you, and what led you to reach out. You might share things you’ve never said aloud. And yes, tears are welcome (and no need to apologize!).

It’s okay if you’re not ready to share everything right away. Building trust takes time. The more you open up, the better your therapist can understand what’s beneath the overwhelm—whether that’s anxiety, intrusive thoughts, resentment, or grief over your old self.

You are in the Driver’s Seat (Even if it Doesn’t Feel Like it Lately)

Therapy isn’t like a doctor’s visit where you’re told what to do. It’s a collaborative space where you decide what feels most important to unpack each week—maybe the invisible mental load, the loss of identity, or the tension building in your relationship.

Your therapist might suggest coping tools like breathing exercises or resourcing skills, but this is your space. You’re allowed to ask for what you need—whether that’s homework, gentle guidance, or just someone to see you.

Think of your therapist as your collaborative guide. Their role is not to give you advice nor tell you what to do. Therapy is not going to be a magic “fix” to what is going on. Therapy is a process and it will take time.

Some topics can be hard to talk about and even embarrassing. Just as doctors will explain that they’ve “seen it all,” your therapist has probably heard about many different things and topics that are very sensitive, private, and even embarrassing.

Some things feel hard to say out loud—like how ragey you get during witching hour or how lonely you feel even when your partner is home. Therapy is designed for the things you “can’t” say anywhere else. It’s okay to admit that sharing feels scary. A good therapist will meet you there with compassion.

That is the nature of therapy- due to confidentiality, therapy is a safe place to share those things that you may not be comfortable talking about with other people that are in your life. It’s okay to even share that it’s hard or embarrassing for you and your therapist should respond by helping you feel supported and comfortable.

Don’t be afraid to give feedback- Your Comfort Matters

If your therapist doesn’t seem to understand where you are coming from, they misinterpret you or they say something that you find offensive, it’s okay to give feedback. In order for a therapeutic relationship to work, it’s important to be honest. The therapist should be receptive to your feedback and then respond accordingly. Sometimes, they may not even know that something they said may have bothered you.

It’s also okay to share what you want to get out of therapy and how you want therapy to look. Some therapists will like to give homework, others may want to try exercises (such as deep breathing or visualizations) within the session. If there is something they suggest that you don’t like or maybe there is something you want more of (such as homework), it’s okay to share that.

The Session is 50 Minutes- Because Moms Need Boundaries Too

Many people think a therapy session is an hour when it’s actually 45- 50 minutes. Those last 10 minutes are utilized for the therapist to write up their progress note for the session and any other required paperwork. It may feel like a long time, but you’ll likely find that the time flies by. If you’re clock-watching because of baby’s feeding or nap, know your therapist is tracking the time for you. Many will help you wrap up gently so you’re not racing back to your child (or back to your pump) feeling unfinished.

The Vulnerability Hangover is Real

After that first session, you might feel emotionally wiped—or wonder if you “overshared.” Brene Brown calls it a vulnerability hangover. Totally normal. The urge to cancel your next session or ghost your therapist can be strong, especially when you’re already stretched thin.

If this happens, check in with yourself: Is it because the therapist wasn’t a good fit, or because the session touched something deep? If it’s the latter, consider going back and even saying, “Last time felt really hard.”

Therapy Doesn’t Fix Everything Right Away… And That’s Okay

You might leave the first session feeling better—especially when you’re naming wounds that haven’t been touched in years (hello, childhood perfectionism). Sometimes things feel heavier before they lighten.

Healing takes time. But every session is a step toward feeling more like yourself again—or maybe discovering who you’re becoming.

Therapy is not a quick-fix. It takes time to change deep-rooted patterns and automatic ways of behaving and thinking. Many times at the start of therapy we may actually feel worse. While that can be uncomfortable and even distressing, it can also be as sign of progress. By actually discussing and processing our emotional pain, we can then get to a place where we can feel better. Many times in life we try to ignore or avoid what is causing us distress and while this may work for the short-term, it will usually pop up in our lives and cause us continual problems.

If those distressing feelings are really bad and you start to have thoughts of harming yourself or others, it is really important to tell your therapist. They will then assess the situation and help you obtain the support you need to stay safe.

Therapy is an Investment in You (and Your Family)

Therapy isn’t just for when things are “bad enough.” It’s a brave choice to show up now, while you’re in the thick of it. You’re not just doing this for yourself—you’re modeling emotional health for your kids. You’re breaking cycles. And that’s powerful.

Therapy is a process and it can take some time to feel better and see positive results. It’s important to remember that therapy is an investment into yourself. You are learning new ways to think, feel and behave so that you can create a better future for yourself (and for future generations). Change does not happen overnight. You are important and you deserve to make that investment into yourself.

If you are interested in scheduling a therapy session with me or would like to have a free consultation, you can contact me here.

Key Takeaways for Moms Starting Therapy

• Expect forms, questions, and some big emotions (maybe tears).

• You’re in control of what you share—this is your space.

• Vulnerability hangovers happen—don’t ghost the process.

• Therapy is a long game and a powerful investment in your well-being.

• You don’t have to navigate this alone—support is here.

If you’re ready to take the next step or have questions about what therapy might look like for you as a mom, you can reach out for a free consultation here. You’re not alone.

Disclaimer: This is in not a replacement for a therapeutic relationship or mental health services. This is for educational purposes only and should be in used only in conjunction in working with a licensed mental health professional. If you are looking for a therapist in California feel free to use the contact me to request an appointment or search Psychology Today for local therapists in your area.